The illusion of Size
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Sorry guys for not updating my blog for the last few days,i will be posting again very soon..i’m too busy on tweaking codes for my blog’s new look! yay! :))
There is so much I want to say to you. First, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for ruining the wonderful relationship we had. I’m sorry I lied. I’m sorry I hurt you. I know you deserve better than me, but I honestly can’t see you with anyone else. It breaks my heart to even think about it. I don’t know what I’m going to do when you find someone else, someone that will do everything for you. I know I messed up, but there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about it. I wish every second that I could just go back and fix it, but that’s not possible, and you won’t let me fix it now so what else can I do? Nothing. There’s nothing I can do and it sucks to know that. But I need to tell you one thing, not everything is my fault. I know it all began with my stupid lack of judgment, but I can’t take the blame for it all. Maybe you look at what you did as something small compared to what I did, but it should have stopped the first time. If you didn’t want to be with me you should have just kept it that way, instead of getting my hopes up, and then tearing them down. You did that four different times. But the last one really did it for me. I miss and love you but I can’t take anymore heartbreak.
Whenever, we said we want to move on, we want to do something, we got to first learn to put down and pick up.
“Lord, in the past I have denied you and walked away from you numerous times. But I know that there is an indelible mark of the cross you left in my heart. from now on, I will bring your cross for you. I WILL DO IT.”
“GOD DOES NO CHOSE THE QUALIFIED, HE QUALIFIES THE CHOSEN”-(Kuya Ron of South B)
Gusto ko tanungin yung sarili ko kung masaya paba ako sa ginagawa ko kahit nasasaktan na ako,walang duda kung kaya ko pa,dahil kahit ata magisa nalang ako gagawin ko padin yung dapat,pero tuwing iisipin ko bakit ba kasi ako napasok sa ganitong sitwasyon,san ba ito nagsimula..ginusto ko ba talaga yung ganito?Alam ko lang mahal ko sya kaya tumagal ako sa community,ang alam ko lang gawin nung una. YES ang lahat ng sagot ko sa mga invitation kahit wala akong kakilala,kahit mukha akong tanga na nakaupo lang sa gilid,masaya na akong nkikita ko silang nagtatawanan,pinangarap ko maging leader din,gusto ko kasing tumayo lagi sa harap ng mdaming tao :) gustong-gusto kong nakikita kung paano nila ko pakinggan ag nataTALK ako sa harap,iba yung sayang nararamdaman ko tuwing nagpapasalamat sila sakin dahil may natututunan silang bago,hanggang sa dumating yung point na binigyan nko ng mas malaking MISSION,na hindi ko alam kung paano magsisimula..basta ang alam ko lang MASAYA to! :)) kung tatanungin nyo ko kung kamusta na yung MISSION ko,ayun! magisa kong gingawa,naranasan kong mabastos at mamura ng mga taong tinulungan ko nung una,hindi ko alam kung anong ginawa ko sknilang mali pero tuwing naiisip ko sila nasasaktan talaga ako,dumating ako sa point na umiiyak ako sa sobrang sama ng loob ko.. kahit naman sbihin kong ayaw ko na magserve,mukahng hindi ko din maaalis sa sistema ko yung pagiging YFC,parang gumawa ako ng sarili kong commitment na habang buhay gusto ko sa YFC lang ako,pero alam kong darating yung time na kailangan din magmove forward. 3 years na lang..konting panahon nalang yung natitira,kailangan maging masaya yung mga huling taon ko sa YFC,sana bumalik na yung dating sigla ng cluster namin :(
